So where does a good Protestant boy find solace for his pain?

Well this one finds it in the prayer of St. Francis especially the hymn version:

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there is hatred let me bring your love,
Where there is injury your pardon Lord,
And where there's doubt true faith in you.
Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope,
Where there is darkness, only light,
And where there's sadness, ever joy.
O Master grant that I may never seek,
So much to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I recently had open heart surgery probably should have had a massive corronary according to the cardiac physicians. They gave me 3 -5 months before I had “the Big One,” a Myocardial Infarction. I went to the doctor because I had an infected hang nail. Seriously, I went to the doctor for an infected hang nail in my thumb and 3 days later had quintuple bypass surgery. If that is not a gracious Gods providence, I don’t know what is. I am ready to die, as imperfect as I am, as mediorce as I am as a Christian, I know who my Savior is and I am ready to meeet him face to face. That being said, There are people in my life that I am just not ready to leave yet, and a gracious God has allowed me more time with them. To this great God, our Lord/my Lord Jesus Christ, I say a very heart felt thank you.

However, right how I am living with a lot of pain, at least I am living. Most of it is nerve pain and is quite severe. All at the same time: I am cold, feel a burning sensation, a dull ache, numbness, and an itch, wow, anything else? The doctors have just changed my drugs and hopefully this will help. I have been told it is a gradual process; I truly hope not too gradual.

In the mean time, my beloved son was in a wreck and totaled my little Toyota. He was not hurt, other than some joustling, and neither was the gal he hit-thanks be to God.

If God does not give us more than we can bear, he thinks a lot of my little family’s faith. I keep reciting to myself Romans 8: 28 and Phillipians 4:19. I begin to get a real feel for old Job from the old testament, and I have already told the Lord, uhm…He can do anything he wants to me, but leave my little family and friends out of it.

So how to get my mind off my pain? Thinking about others, and how I help releive their pain and suffering. That was St. Francis’s key-get over yourself- and you help your self and you faithfully serve the Lord.

This is the exact opposite of the “ME” generation that I am a part of. He who dies with the most toys wins, remember that one. What a crock! If that is all there is you loose everything you ever worked for. That is why St. Paul tells us to lay up treasures in heaven. We are just passing through this world.

When I get to heaven I will be looking up old St. Paul, and I will know right where to find him. St Francis will be there too. We will all be around the Master. They will probably be up in the good seats and I being who and what I am will be in the back row upper deck-no problem, at least I will be there. By the way, there is a current silliness in Christianity today about Paul competing with Jesus, and it is about the stupidiest thing I have heard in a long time. You have to go back to Rudolph Bultmann and form criticism to get this silly. Paul himself during his lifetime had to deal with this and answered, “Was Paul Crucified for you? Where you baptised in the name of Paul?” of course not! St. Paul was always careful to lead the believer back to Christ Jesus. (End of Soap box).

I love another old, old hymm, a protestant Hymm called “Lead me to Calvary.” I was excited to find a 4th verse. “May I be willling Lord to bear, daily my crosss for thee, even thy cup of grief to share thou has borne all for me.”

Personally, selfishly, I want this nerve pain over, but until then I will go on bearing it. The Lord wants me to learn something or maybe he just wants to keep me home for a little while longer. What ever he wants, that’s what I’ll do, but I wont be moping around I will be thinking about and praying for others until I can get back into the game. If I do this well, then the Lord will be pleased.

Well goood reader, time to throw this one into the internet ocean. I hope it helps someone.

D